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Golden Men
For those over 50

" I thought about various questions I'd asked gay men over the years, and one in particular came to mind: If no matter what your age, you would always be able to find and relate to gay men who you found attractive and who found you attractive, would you be as concerned about aging? And practically everyone said, "Well, no." So, the fear is I'm no longer attractive. And it's assumed that someone 40, 50, 60 or 70 cannot be seen as sexually attractive."
(Kooden, co author of "Golden Men")

Experts estimate that between 1.75 and 3.50 million Americans ages 60 and over are lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender. Existing research suggests that older gay, bisexual, and transgender adults are satisfied with their lives. The concerns they express about aging are often the same that other older people typically report. Yet there are some important differences. According to the Older American's Month Fact Sheet: The Many Faces of Aging

Research highlights several issues that are particularly important for LGBT elders.

  • Stigma: Older LGBT persons may face discrimination based on their age and sexual orientation. Consequently, they may not feel comfortable either in organizations serving older people or in LGBT community organizations, and thus may not receive useful services from these groups.
  • Family and Social Support: Most studies indicate that older LGBT people report high levels of satisfaction with their social support networks. However, many older LGBT people rely primarily on partners and close friends for social support. Society has not always acknowledged the importance of 'chosen families.'
  • More Likely to Live Alone: Older persons who are gay or lesbian are more likely to live alone than are older people overall.
  • Housing: Like other older adults, older LGBT persons are interested in housing options, such as continuing-care retirement communities and assisted-living facilities. However, they sometimes encounter homophobic attitudes among fellow residents and some facilities may exclude them entirely.
  • Income and Employment: Unmarried partners are currently ineligible for spousal or survivor's benefits through federal programs like Social Security and most private pension plans. Property inheritance by an unmarried partner requires careful estate planning. Because of Civil Unions, this is less of an issue in Vermont than in other states.
  • Health Care: Older LGBT persons express concerns about access to high-quality health care. Some are reluctant to reveal their sexual orientation to health care providers because of fears they will face discrimination or concerns about confidentiality. In addition, some health care providers make assumptions about the health risks LGBT people face and may provide inadequate care. Most public and private health insurance programs do not recognize same-sex partners for receiving family coverage.
  • Health Risks: LGBT persons may also be at higher risk for some health problems. What these may be for MSM is not completely clear.

In the effort to educate gay and bisexual men about HIV, other health conditions have been over shadowed. Diseases, such as diabetes, prostate cancer, the second leading cause of cancer deaths in Vermont men, heart disease, plus other conditions are real concerns for many older MSM. However, like most of their older counterparts, society has made the assumption that older means not sexual. This is just not true. STDs, HIV and hepatitis are issues for any man who is having sex with a partner who may be infected, or at risk for infection.

Sexual health can be a concern regardless of age. As one ages, sexuality desires and performance can change. Some of these changes can be an indication of an underlying health problem. Therefore, it is extremely important to find a health provider that you feel comfortable working with, and that you can openly discuss changes in your body.

The M4M 'baby boomers,' many of whom are already in their 60's, have witnessed over 20 years of death and devastation in their community due to HIV. Survivors guilt - "why did I survive the epidemic" or "why did I live long enough to benefit from the new medications and my partner did not" - is more common than many realize. Others may feel they donŐt matter to the community as they are now old and didn't get "the disease." Some view the AIDS epidemic as part of life and are just moving on. The end result of this is that this generation of Golden Men have born witness to an epidemic that many have paralleled to the Holocaust.

The cumulative effects of grief/loss, survivors guilt, possible ill health, let alone feelings of no longer being attractive, can be devastating for some men. Post traumatic stress syndrome can be a very real problem, which can be made by a diagnosis of a chronic condition, or the death or illness of a partner. Now, more than ever, it is important to grieve losses.

While many men of this generation have had to be caregivers for friends and lovers over the last two decades, it maybe that they are now having to face this task for parents or other family members. Be sure to check out the resource section on Caregivers.

There are no clear Vermont statistics on the number of gay, bisexual or transgender over 50. While a few states have organizations for older GLBT, there are none in Vermont at this time. Vermonters are fortunate to have Civil Unions, as it affords same sex couples the same benefits as married persons. However, to receive those benefits, you must have performed a Civil Union and/or outlined in your will who beneficiaries are, durable power of health attorney etc.

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Last Modified: October 1, 2003. Send any inquiries to webmaster@vtm4m.net